Friday, July 22, 2011


Life throws you hard punches, painful blows that are hardly ever fair. Often times you are betrayed by the people you love, our trust is breached and our pride is bruised. Things happen that leaves us hurt and we are left to heal in the embers of time; unfortunately, time heals the wound but doesn’t always clear the scars and so you are stuck with the glaring consequence of a painful past.
How do you even begin to deal with issues that tears at the security of your heart? How does a man handle the infidelity of his wife? I mean you take an oath for better or worse yet nothing really prepares you for the sharp stab of pain that comes from catching your wife physically entangled with your home plumber. Perhaps that is a tad extreme, not everybody experiences that in a lifetime yet we all have our personal betrayals and bouts of depression.
Parents betray Children and vice versa, bestfriends lie or suddenly change, a business partner dupes you, colleagues frame you up at work, someone steps on you in the market, the customer rep in the bank talks rudely to you…Sometimes it almost seems the world is out to ruin your good intentions, but in all of this I have learnt to deal with unwholesome situations not the way I feel but as God in his word would have me respond. Basically, to FORGIVE!!!
Let me share something I have learnt, Forgiveness is not the aftermath of an apology and it is not always served best with a hot meal of repentance; Forgiveness is a higher dimension of faith, an expression of the ultimate command of love, and a gift to the offender but moreso to yourself. It is a Bold assertion of spiritual maturity and it bears with it complete healing and restoration from all the hurts.
Granted, it is no small a feat but look at it from the perspective a friend shared with me ‘we have been forgiven to forgive’ Yes, while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. I don’t know what it is you’ve been through and I will not presume to put myself in your shoes, but I will tell you one thing, your ability to forgive is a major factor in your Life’s growth.
So whether you were sexually abused by a family member as a child,
Your spouse was and is still cheating on you,
Your pastor/cell leader takes advantage of you,
You’ve been spited, slighted and gossiped about,
You experienced a major breakup for which you did nothing,
Often misjudged, misinterpreted, misinformed,
Take a decision to love regardless of whatever; it is an act of faith and one that Heaven does not overlook. To do otherwise will amount to a Life of unfruitfulness; like a tree planted by rivers of water yet only decays.
Do it for the offender, do it for God and do it for yourself.
© Tochi Eze
July 15th 2011

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