HOW TO HANDLE DEPRESSION

I read a note recently titled ‘Depression is a tool’ by John Igbinovia…brilliant piece I must say. it sent my mind on a voyage of recollection of past experiences, thus inspiring this write up.
I often ask myself; how did I get to this point? I once would not have imagined that it was possible to live a life without depression and mood swings. I mean, my emotions would toss, turn, squeeze and rumple me at will, as a teenager, my heart was perpetually plagued by dismay, I walked around with a burdened perspective of life and an overwhelming sense of defeat, I was angry, bitter and often very depressed.
Let me start by saying, without respect to what the books on psychology and psychotherapy say, there is no excuse logical enough upon which we can premise the existence of depression, it is usually not because of some gigantic mountain you think you may be facing, there are some people who by chance have been lavished with life’s generous benefits, yet they seldom experience the genuinty of a carefree smile…Depression is a deeply rooted evil that latches unto your mind by disguising itself in the subtle appearance of your heart’s burden. It is an enemy of destiny and a strategy of the kingdom of darkness. Her ultimate goal is to steal your Joy and dash your hopes, for indeed man cannot thrive without hope anymore than fish can survive without water. She has lured great men to heights of instability, complacency and dejection,  often driving them to seek escape in alcohol and such other wanton behavior, she takes your eyes off God’s purpose for you and places it on your person, Self pity and sorrow thus becomes familiar companions.
Oh, what trickery, what sly deceit,  that a man created to be a god, with leadership and dominion, should begin to feel sorry for himself. Fortunately, this defeatist syndrome can be curbed and cured with proactive measures till at last it loses it’s sway over you. Below are some strategies that I have personally employed:

•  A HEART OF PRAISE:  it is impossible to be angry and joyful by the same person, to the same degree and at the same time. Praise turns on the light bulb in the darkness, it sets your heart on a quest of hope, it focuses on God and therefore takes your mind off yourself. It is a potent weapon of warfare, and do not deride yourself with notions that you have to feel like it. Life may knock you down, but it can’t steal the melody in your heart…that is your exclusive right.
• A COUNTENANCE OF JOY: this naturally flows from your praise, be industrious when it comes to trading in your sorrows, Joy is a deliberate act of faith, often defying logic. You really don’t need a reason to be happy…be happy anyway! Perhaps you just came out of a break up, you feel a tad overweight, business is not going as expected or you are just tired of sending out job applications, resist the allure of a heavy spirit. When it get’s dark, don’t get gloomy, count the stars! Look for the beauties around you, no one is without a benefit, hold your head up high and act like you own the world…like they say, fake it until you take it. Joy releases a certain form of attraction on you and positions you for increase.
•  A SPIRIT OF LOVE: love is the ultimate tool of victory, the perfect antidote of self pity, anger and bitterness. While praise will get your focus on God, love will get your focus on people. Scripture posits that perfect love casts out fear. Love is the light that dispels the darkness, it is a language that evil cannot understand, it fills your heart with peace and gives your heart something to hold unto, love takes your mind off the pain and crowns your joy with renewed strength and confidence. A spirit/heart of love always seeks what it will do for others and not what others can do for it. End your quest for blessings and start to be a channel through which others may be blessed. You get the highest gratification, when you dare to live for others.
• A TENACIOUS FAITH:  Faith is the substance of your hope, a hope of continuity, a hope of victory and a hope of restorations.  Your faith is your resolve to continue inspite of your tears. The tenacity of your faith is a direct reflection of your knowledge of God and exposure to his word, find out what God says about your situation and corroborate his word with your words. If you see as he sees, and speak as he speaks, it is only a matter of time, you will be as he be! This is our certain reality that no temptation exists which was designed to consume us.  Let your emotions conform to the will of God, give him complete reliance, resting your back on the cushion of his love, casting your cares and surrendering your worries…Faith keeps your head afloat.
• A HABIT OF PRAYER: Paul speaking says that the weapons of our warfare are mighty in battle, to the pulling down of strongholds and casting down imaginations and all other things that raises itself against the knowledge of God. Prayer is Power for Purpose. It s our sphere if influence where we create our desired future by spilling forth mysteries in the spirit. Prayer equips you to stand strong in the face of adversity.

I do not presume to be an authority on the above subject matter, but I do have the boast of one with tested experience and overcoming victory. Depression has lost it’s sway over me since I embraced the above realities, it has become an echo from a very distant past, and to that effect, anyone can overcome depression.

With love, a huge smile and a piece of apple
© Tochi EZE
26TH September 2011.

THE COST OF THE STEW

I was reading the story of Esau selling his birthright as accounted n Genesis 25, and I must admit, I felt a sense of pity for him. I mean, what could possibly have been the crime of a young man who had been out all day in pursuit of his livelihood, who comes home ravenous with hunger and is assaulted by the heady sensation of his brother’s of stew. What is  the moral justification for a man, whose scheming mind and devious trickery, plotted to cheat his brother out of his birth right?

By the way, this is not me seeking to embark on a blasphemous expedition, Jacob na my guy, so un-alarm your minds. However, I’m just saying that on the face of things, Esau’s actions could almost easily be justified. So the question is…why? Why does an action that is fraught with reason completely lack in godly justification? I sat pondering, not completely understanding, trying not to validate his fate or endorse his supposed judgment, I only sought the wisdom behind the turn of events.

*COMPROMISE*

The maiden name of settlement, the bridge between your standard and what is obtainable, a thin rope that makes desire parallel with logic, a bending of truths and concession of values. In my mind’s understanding, compromise simply means selling your future for today’s fleeting pleasures, a sentence which depicts Esau’s very deed.

In today’s age of enlightenment, compromise has become a logically acceptable platform for any kind of actualization, whether in our government, business and even in our relationships. The earth is fraught with structures that make us believe that we can’t always have what we want and so life situations teach us to trade in our values, “if the plan will not work, why don’t you bend it a little”.

Unfortunately, for the believer, compromise is an abominable conduct, it is the vehicle you drive on the road to disaster, it is a reflection of watery convictions and it invalidates your faith. Compromise is a major trick of the devil, his weapon of suggestive manipulation. He tells a young lady to sell her values by sleeping with a man in order to keep him, thereby compromising the virtue of sexual chastity. GOD gives us a vision of our future, a standard he expects of us through his word, yet we perambulate about with the idea that godly virtue is an impossible task.

Compromise is the absence of Faith,  we trade In our innermost desires and deride ourselves with notions of being realistic, if Esau knew God enough, he would have realized that his hunger would not have killed him, in that it was merely a temporary inconvenience testing the responsibility of his faith. I don’t know what it is that you have been holding out for, stand strong on belief and do not dare to look back on the temporary road of convenience. God despises our compromise, stand on his word and the veracity of its truth.

Believe God…against all odds!!!

With dexterous faith and relentless hope

© Tochi Eze

September 20, 2011

THE COST OF THE STEW

I was reading the story of Esau selling his birthright as accounted n Genesis 25, and I must admit, I felt a sense of pity for him. I mean, what could possibly have been the crime of a young man who had been out all day in pursuit of his livelihood, who comes home ravenous with hunger and is assaulted by the heady sensation of his brother’s of stew. What is  the moral justification for a man, whose scheming mind and devious trickery, plotted to cheat his brother out of his birth right?

By the way, this is not me seeking to embark on a blasphemous expedition, Jacob na my guy, so un-alarm your minds. However, I’m just saying that on the face of things, Esau’s actions could almost easily be justified. So the question is…why? Why does an action that is fraught with reason completely lack in godly justification? I sat pondering, not completely understanding, trying not to validate his fate or endorse his supposed judgment, I only sought the wisdom behind the turn of events.

*COMPROMISE*

The maiden name of settlement, the bridge between your standard and what is obtainable, a thin rope that makes desire parallel with logic, a bending of truths and concession of values. In my mind’s understanding, compromise simply means selling your future for today’s fleeting pleasures, a sentence which depicts Esau’s very deed.

In today’s age of enlightenment, compromise has become a logically acceptable platform for any kind of actualization, whether in our government, business and even in our relationships. The earth is fraught with structures that make us believe that we can’t always have what we want and so life situations teach us to trade in our values, “if the plan will not work, why don’t you bend it a little”.

Unfortunately, for the believer, compromise is an abominable conduct, it is the vehicle you drive on the road to disaster, it is a reflection of watery convictions and it invalidates your faith. Compromise is a major trick of the devil, his weapon of suggestive manipulation. He tells a young lady to sell her values by sleeping with a man in order to keep him, thereby compromising the virtue of sexual chastity. GOD gives us a vision of our future, a standard he expects of us through his word, yet we perambulate about with the idea that godly virtue is an impossible task.

Compromise is the absence of Faith,  we trade In our innermost desires and deride ourselves with notions of being realistic, if Esau knew God enough, he would have realized that his hunger would not have killed him, in that it was merely a temporary inconvenience testing the responsibility of his faith. I don’t know what it is that you have been holding out for, stand strong on belief and do not dare to look back on the temporary road of convenience. God despises our compromise, stand on his word and the veracity of its truth.

Believe God…against all odds!!!

With dexterous faith and relentless hope

© Tochi Eze

September 20, 2011

Hearty Cheers to Mothers

First, let me use this platform to share my thoughts and express my opinion on the idea of a mother. It’s every woman’s dream to bear and nurse a child in her bosom, right from teenage years and adolescence, a girl fantasizes on the concept of romance, marriage, and family. However, motherhood is not merely about child bearing, it’s beyond the painful pangs of nature in the labor room, it’s inconsequential that you carry a child for several months in your womb, even an incubator can do that.
Biology has so limited our understanding of motherhood that we have failed and forgotten to understand it’s true meaning.
Motherhood is a state of the heart, it is spiritual and it is a calling from God.
Science may deny you a labor room experience but it cannot rob you off the Joy of motherhood.
Motherhood is God’s purpose for every woman, and you don’t have to wait for a test result to step into the role of a mother, you don’t have to discriminate between your child and the help, you need show no special fondness or favoritism, this may seem impossible, but we must awake to this consciousness. It breaks my heart, to see women of estimable calling and destinies get lost in the tedious task of petting and pampering their children, oblivious to the things around them that are screaming for their touch. It cuts deep into me to see women loose sight of life’s meaning, all because they yet to be graced with a nine month experience.
Motherhood is essentially role play, stepping into the shoes of a ready nurturer and caretaker, it is not limited to the genetics of your x and y chromosome, and hence should not be restricted to that.
Motherhood is thinking of hungry and unsheltered children even while nursing your own, it is nurturing a seeming destitute even whilst waiting for your own, it is the heart that constantly cries for hope and the hand that consciously reaches to help.
Motherhood is a divine assignment, a spiritual partnership with heaven, it is the highest call of service and yet highly unregarded, a call of nature that has been answered by very few.
Having said all these, there’s a set of mothers I’d like to celebrate. Women who have been bold in their resolve to show love to humanity, who have dared to look beyond the tears rolling down their nose, women whose contribution to society has depicted the true nature of sacrifice, I mean, the mother Theresa’s of our time, and there are quite a number of them.

To the mother who cries night after night, praying for a child from her womb, believing in a hope that belies medical evidence, yet, daily gracing friends and colleagues with a smile as bright as light, remaining submissive and virtuous, even in the glaring face of hunting in-laws, whose only cry is for a child or her blood.
To the single mother, who was confident enough to embrace a mistake, resolving to nurse a teenage pregnancy, blinding her eyes to the tempting option of an abortion. Quick to embrace parental rebuke and societal condemnation, without a man, she steps into the role of father and mother, and what an excellent job she does.
To the mother who was once married, who was betrayed, beaten and kicked out of a marriage she had carefully built her life around. Who have faced the sharp slicing pain of rejection, denied custody of the children, yet, living each day deliberately conscious of her value and her contribution to the society, refusing to take a No from Life.
To the mothers who are all around us, teaching us, scolding us, loving us against all odds, award winning mothers who have compromised career opportunities, battled between promotions, maternity leave, and  PTA’s, To every woman, who though did not birth us, have loved us, at every time where it really mattered. Nannies, teachers, aunties, girlfriends, wives all round us ,mothering us.
Finally, to the very special apple of my eye, the woman after my heart, A mother in whom I am well pleased, , super woman with a super heart, so what if you are not on facebook? I still think you are cool. Lol!
Hearty cheers to my mum, and to every  mother; I love you all…MWUAH!!!

© Tochi Eze

DREAMS COME TRUE!!!

Dreams come true; I know your heart is laden with the heavy burden of an idea, plan, vision or mandate, you run with a pure passion to fulfill purpose and your quest for relevance has become a source of motivation. In the night season, when the imaginations of your heart are seeking for a voice, crying to be heard and begging to be seen, be rest assured that your restlessness is divinely ordained.

Dreams come true; although doubt may plague your mind, her vicious grip choking the faith right out of you, the bitter memories of yesterday’s fall leaves you trembling in dismay, and wondering if you labor in vain expectation, be strong in believe, for greater feats have been achieved by men of smaller frames, and the one who gave the dream will surely bring it to pass.

Dreams come true; and in bright and vivid pictures too. It doesn’t really matter how lofty or ludicrous yours may be. So whether it is to be president or pope, baker or barrister, if your desire is noble, you will inspire the divine force that drives dreams into reality.

Dreams come true; yes, all things are possible! So vanquish your fear, for your faith will find expression in tangible substance. You will awake in the morning to a song of celebration, as life’s delicacy will be laid before you in an open invitation to a glorious feast of fulfillment.

Dreams come true; they may be processed in the incubator of time, delayed but will not be denied, because eventually, time will unfold, whether in a minute or in a millennium, the Heavens will open, God will remember you and Destiny will happen!
 (c) Tochi Eze

A LESSON ON FORGIVENESS!

Life throws you hard punches, painful blows that are hardly ever fair. Often times you are betrayed by the people you love, our trust is breached and our pride is bruised. Things happen that leaves us hurt and we are left to heal in the embers of time; unfortunately, time heals the wound but doesn’t always clear the scars and so you are stuck with the glaring consequence of a painful past.
How do you even begin to deal with issues that tears at the security of your heart? How does a man handle the infidelity of his wife? I mean you take an oath for better or worse yet nothing really prepares you for the sharp stab of pain that comes from catching your wife physically entangled with your home plumber. Perhaps that is a tad extreme, not everybody experiences that in a lifetime yet we all have our personal betrayals and bouts of depression.
Parents betray Children and vice versa, bestfriends lie or suddenly change, a business partner dupes you, colleagues frame you up at work, someone steps on you in the market, the customer rep in the bank talks rudely to you…Sometimes it almost seems the world is out to ruin your good intentions, but in all of this I have learnt to deal with unwholesome situations not the way I feel but as God in his word would have me respond. Basically, to FORGIVE!!!
Let me share something I have learnt, Forgiveness is not the aftermath of an apology and it is not always served best with a hot meal of repentance; Forgiveness is a higher dimension of faith, an expression of the ultimate command of love, and a gift to the offender but moreso to yourself. It is a Bold assertion of spiritual maturity and it bears with it complete healing and restoration from all the hurts.
Granted, it is no small a feat but look at it from the perspective a friend shared with me ‘we have been forgiven to forgive’ Yes, while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. I don’t know what it is you’ve been through and I will not presume to put myself in your shoes, but I will tell you one thing, your ability to forgive is a major factor in your Life’s growth.
So whether you were sexually abused by a family member as a child,
LET IT GO!
Your spouse was and is still cheating on you,
LET IT GO!
Your pastor/cell leader takes advantage of you,
LET IT GO!
You’ve been spited, slighted and gossiped about,
LET IT GO!
You experienced a major breakup for which you did nothing,
LET IT GO!
Often misjudged, misinterpreted, misinformed,
LET IT ALL GO!!
Take a decision to love regardless of whatever; it is an act of faith and one that Heaven does not overlook. To do otherwise will amount to a Life of unfruitfulness; like a tree planted by rivers of water yet only decays.
Do it for the offender, do it for God and do it for yourself.
© Tochi Eze
July 15th 2011

THE PLAGUE OF INDECISION

Man is an unconscious product of his thought process, and his life is a mirrored reflection of his decision making. Every thing about your life is hinged on a decision, be it the choice of a life partner, a career path, or better still, the journey to your life’s purpose. We live in a world where choices rule tomorrow, and seldom will a man attain any great feat, without having to first take a decision or a stand.

 All these truths, and yet, indecision is a disease that has plagued the human mind for as long as time. It seems that so many of us journey through life as spectators, too afraid to jump into the pitch and play the game.

 I don’t know what major step it is that you have to take or why you are finding it so difficult to commit to that good cause. How long will you fold your hands and expect lightening to strike you and say ‘ this is the way’?

 Friends, time and chance is too much of a risk for you to leave your destiny to them, you can get a grip on the handle of your life by the choices you make.

Scripture speaking says, ‘ I have set before you life and death, choose ye life, that you make live’. Don’t you see that you were neither destined to live nor die, you were destined to Choose! Your choices determine your consequences, and as such we must strive to make the right decision, hinged on sound moral, biblical principles.

 Now, haven known the importance of choices in shaping our outcomes, why still dance around the mountain of options? Haven been presented with life and death, why must we think it over a cup of tea? Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you shouldn’t investigate your facts and table out your findings, but having done all our homework, why do we relent in crossing the red sea?

 Indecision is a war I have fought for most of my life, and I am slowly winning the war, basically because I came to address one of the major reasons for my indecision…Fear!

What is it that makes a seven year old child so certain that he would be a pilot when he grows up, and yet a boardroom executive cannot make a decision as to the out turn of a meeting? Could it be because the child is yet untainted with the harsh realities of life? Has our knowledge, exposure and experience become our greatest limitations?  We so much fear the consequence of a wrong choice and so we settle for a worse lot which is no choice at all.

 We need to understand that the earth is constantly in motion, and I doubt if creation will wait for you to make up your mind. Sometimes, we need to embrace the blind gullibility of our childhood again, otherwise called Faith, believing in yourself, your dreams and the power of God answered prayers.

 That business idea may never kick off if you keep weighing the risk of failure, that project will likely not be implemented, if you don’t get up and Go for it, either way, whatever action you take towards the actualization of your destiny, must start with a decision.

So get up dear, Get up right now…commit that plan to God, and go make it happen!

With love and laughter,

© Tochi Eze

15^th April 2011.

SEVEN CHARACTERISTICS OF A GOOD TEAM PLAYER

First, let me start by saying that the earth has been structured to function and operate in teams. Now let me shock you further, the world wasn’t created by God alone,…it was created by his team.

‘ and God said, LET US make man in OUR image and after OUR likeness’ GENESIS. Before that the Holy Spirit, we are told hovered over the deep, before the word went forth.

Secondly, man being designed to look and act like God, was made to function in teams. ‘ it is not good for man to be alone, I will make him another helper’ GENESIS.

Contrary to most of our belief, team work is not limited to sport pitches or work schedules/tasks. No, team work permeates everyday of our every day living. Every man therefore is a potential team player.

Now before you would wonder why you would even want to be a team player, let’s look at some of the essential benefits of team work.

·        Division of labor

·        Pooling of resources

·        Mutual encouragement and motivation

·        Companionship

There we have it, so back to the point of this write-up; what are the characteristics of a good team player?

1.He knows the game: it has been said that when the purpose of a thing is not known, it’s abuse is inevitable. It is therefore pertinent, that at every stage or project of your life, you must know your purpose and your relevance there. A good team player must understand the project at hand, whether it be marriage, ministry, business partnership or a work related task.

2.He knows his teammates: ‘shall two walk together except they agree’ AMOS, Jesus Christ speaking says ‘I and my Father are one’. This basically connotes intimacy. There are no two ways about it, you simply cannot work with someone you don’t know, and I mean a tested and applied knowledge. Knowledge of your teammates helps you draw out their strengths and make up for their excesses.

3.He is willing to share: A good team player must be a lover, a giver and a sharer. Jesus Christ speaking says ‘all that my father has, he has given to me’. Whether it be in the form of ideas in the workplace or valued time in consensual relationships, each team player must be willing to let go and let his team member get.

4.He must sacrifice: ‘for God so loved the world, that He gave us his only begotten son’ JOHN. That same begotten son gave up his only begotten life, both sacrifices made at no small cost. A good team player knows how to put the needs of others above his, especially where it is sure to yield a far weightier glory.

5.He does his best:  A good team player does al he knows to do, suffers long, endures hardships , misunderstanding and sometimes even betrayals by his fellow team mates, but he takes it all in good stride, he ensure that his side of the out put is not affected by all these, he put his best effort to  ensure that the project is carried through.

6.He sees it through: Just before he gave up the ghost, Jesus Christ said ‘it is finished’. A good team player will never pull out of an uncompleted task. It is against his values because it is an ultimate sign of failure. He is in it from start to finish, in his marriage for instance, there is NO such thing as divorce.

7.He gets his credit: team work is always rewarded, and a good team player will always be accorded honor and recognition for the contributions and sacrifices he made.

There is always a reward!

Team work is essential to vital living, you were born alone, granted, but you were not made to function alone.

© Toch Eze. JANUARY 2011

THE PROCESS OF TIME

...And God said to Abraham being 75 at the time, leave your home to the place I will show you and I will make you into a great nation.

Isaac eventually was born by Sarah to Abraham who was a 100 years of age at the time. Now, I don’t know about you but 25 years seems like a heck of a long time to keep a promise, however what marvels me was not the fact that the promise eventually came to be, but rather the endurance level of Abraham, who no doubt deserves an award of 25 years of confident belief, loyalty.

My focus on this article is neither on Abraham nor the promise but on the 25 years waiting period.
Those 25 years represent a lengthy and uncertain period of expectancy, those 25 years represent an opportunity to stand at the edge of a mountain with a risk of falling, they represent the fear and possibility of broken dreams and unfulfilled expectations, they represent an opportunity for self development and enlargement to accommodate the promise, they represent a firm decision to stand resolute in your belief, for a better future, better hope and a better nation, those 25 years represent the uncomfortable situation that most of us are going through, those 25 years have a name and it is called ‘ the process of time’.
Sure enough, it is a necessary junction in our journey of life, some of us have been there and most of us are still there. I’d like to point out that the process of time is not a waste of time, it is merely a pause in transit to enable us offload our excesses and refuel for the journey ahead.
Don’t despise your process of time, and more importantly, don’t let any one despise your process of time. Don’t even think about compromising your values because that vision will come through and that mountain will be made low. It takes patience to stay in the process of time because like all other processes, it involves procedures.
Friend, I have just one message for you, DON’T GIVE UP! Hold unto your dream. Hold unto your belief, hold unto that promise. That is the virtue of success. Keep the faith fire burning, like any process, whether 2 months or 25 years, the time limit will come, and just like any vision with an appointed time, all we are expected to do is write and wait.
© Tochi Eze 2011